When I walked side by side yesterday, I was holding her arm and I could felt she decreased lots of weight. It's not her wants to do diet but due to overloaded stresses, perhaps.
For a lady who had just got left behind by the other half of her, I think it might be a miserable life and a tough one. In the past few years, she had to carry a big burden like she promised at church "To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part." As the result, she really did her job and completed it. She had take care of Mr. Ginger faithfully and honorably every day without fail. Back to eight months ago, right after Mrs. Ginger saw her husband turned to be ashes, she knew that it was the time for her to start all over again by her own and another deadweights are waiting for her.
Day by day, she still look strong: She went to office everyday. She went to few places to settle everything that she had to clinch with. She took care of her daughter who about to get deliver baby. And during her busy days at office, she has to take care of her grandchildren and her beloved daughter. If I might conclude, Mrs. Ginger is a mother with zillions tasks that she had to handle by her own yet she never gave up.
She has a good character as a leader in family. She likes everything straight to the point and clear. She is liberal and open minded yet her ancient Chinese thought is still belong to her. And she's not a bias person. She will complain and critic if the thing doesn't go well. She will apologize if she knew she had done something wrong. And she will keep quite and put a flag of war if you did something wrong and never apology to her. Well, this is where I think some of her attitude goes down genetically to her children.
Indeed, there are lots of people sympathy towards her conditions including me. This is where I started to put a side of my dreams, ego, and emotions. I decided to agree with her negotiation, followed her directions and ambitions. And so the rest of Mrs. Ginger's children did the same thing. No one gonna leave her alone and every body are trying to make her happy for the rest of her life. In fact, life isn't that flat. Argument, conflict, disagreement always came out in every seconds of our life. Yet, Mrs. Ginger always look tough and strong.
But, no no.. No body knows how much tears has dropped on her chick right after half of her beloved one has gone? What I knew was in the past few days she was really sad and frustrated. She closed her eyes and pretending that she's sleeping yet her tears came out one by one. And yeah, I noticed she wants to wipe out her sadness away yet she couldn't. She looks black out! Just like what I described above. If I might look through inside her brain and heart, I guess there are lots of questions marks, doubts and confusions in her minds.
I might tell that she's thinking hardly to make sure that her family, her career, and her future plan could continue smoothly. Yet, no body could know what is in someone's mind even facebook! :x Because obviously Mrs. Ginger won't post her doubts in facebook, right?
Forgive me if I couldn't do anything to make you happy or clear up all your doubts.
My mouth couldn't open to say something good and to make your heart calm.
My hand couldn't move to massage your heavy shoulder and make it lighter.
But my prayers will always go for you. I always hope it won't be any tears came out from your eye because you had suffered enough in the past. I hope you could enjoy your oldies time just like your dream.
And lastly, I hope that our family won't be tears a part because we had you and daddy.
from someone who always love you, mom.